After my recent post, I figured this blog could use a little happiness. And my friend over @DiaryofaNewMom signed me up for a meme a while back which I’m only now getting to (sorry pretty lady!). But it’s a FUN meme….so here goes!  

 This meme requires that I share 10 things that make me happy – and then share the Happy 101 award. Now where to begin?…..  

 1. Obviously, I’ll begin with Pineapple. Pineapple makes me so happy. Last week, I was having a TERRIBLE day. As I pulled up to my home, feeling absolutely rotten about myself, I saw a tiny person toddling down the sidewalk, followed by a bigger person, of course, and all I could think was “no matter what else I do in life, I made THAT – and that is an amazing thing.” I immediately had a ginormous smile stretching my face. So for sure, Pineapple is my #1.  

 2. Sunshine and good music. I live in Portland, OR right now and let me just tell you that sunshine is in short supply. There is never enough for long enough and there is more grey than I care to think about. But when it is sunny out? Boy-O-boy…this city can’t be beat. It’s lovely! And people just spill out of their homes to enjoy the day. Add in some good music and now we’re talkin’! I think my two best scenarios are: 1) some good reggae music on the beach in Negril, Jamaica with DH and 2) some great blues playing on my Aunt Queen and Big G’s lakehouse dock in Louisiana – with all of my family there and, of course some cold beverages. Those are perfect days my friends.  

3. “Cheesy” novels. I love to read and I read EVERYTHING. But I’ll admit to a partiality towards cheesy teenage vamp fiction. It’s fun. It’s campy. And doggone it, I LURVE it! I also like novels which do NOT feature the undead or creatures of the shape-shifting variety. For example, A Confederacy of Dunces is a very good book that takes me right back to my southern roots, The Codex Alera series rocks (and yes it’s horses and swords sci-fi but there’s not a single vampire in sight!), Things I Learned About My Dad In Therapy was a fun book of essays from some of my favorite bloggers, and of course the Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris…oh crap…that’s vampires. Well, too bad! I LURVE THEM! They make me happy. Toss in some wandering down the aisles of Powell’s Bookstore with a cup of coffee, Pineapple and DH and you have an accurate picture of about 90% of my Saturday mornings.  

 4. Old friends. I have the best “old” friends in the world. A few of which I’ve been friends with for more than 25 years (HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!). And they are always there for me. Also, I’m what’s called a “low-maintenance friend.” I don’t need a lot of love and attention in order to maintain a friendship. This worked out well recently when one of my dearest old friends moved to Australia. That move made it super hard for us to connect and during her stay there, she gave birth to her second child. But when we WERE able to connect, we never missed a beat. That casual, comfortable relationship is invaluable.  

 5. New friends. My “new friends” are flipping HI-LARIOUS. And they are so supportive of my midlife crisis (hellllo vampire and werewolf addiction - and if you support this, you know who you are ). And my blogworld friends are AMAZING. They’re my own, personal super heroes.  

 6. Sushi & Beer. Salmon sashimi. Miso soup. Sake. Iko Sansai. Dragon rolls. Yum. Yum. Yum. More please. And it’s HAPPY food. I just feel good after I’ve eaten it and I don’t feel like I’ve totally blown my diet….until I’ve had some good microbrews to go with it. But, c’est la vie! I love me some good sushi and some good beer and thankfully, Portland offers both.  

 7. Mindless television. I am a fan of crap on TV that doesn’t make me think to hard. I like most of the VH1 ‘romance’ shows (Rock of Love, Daisy of Love, Frank The Entertainer) – crap is king on my TV. I also like Ghost Hunters and most anything on the Discovery channel (though I would hardly place that in the crap category). And in my defense, I also enjoy some more challenging programming – like Lost, Alias, and Fringe – as well as some funny programming – like Modern Family and The Office. But my all-time favorite is Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Yes, it’s true. I am a ginormous nerd. YAY ME! (and stop kitten poker!)  

I think the key phrase in that paragraph is “used to.”

This is not the case anymore. Life has worn me down and stripped me of the confidence that used to come naturally to me. In many ways, I was probably destined to lose at least a modicum of that confidence because of my natural tendency to seek approval. Even as a little girl, I would look to my parents or grandparents or whoever was nearby to get a clap or a cheer when I did a little dance or told a little tale. That praise just made me glow and gave me the sense that not only did I do well, but I could do even better if I just tried.

I see Pineapple doing this now. I see her throw a ball or put a circle in its proper slot and I see her look at me for that approval. And it just makes me shudder. I can’t always give her the approval I know she deserves. I won’t always be there. And life is a harsh mistress. Someday she will be looking and hoping for approval and it won’t be there – maybe even sometimes when she really needs it and really deserves it.

I think I need to work on helping her understand that she doesn’t need my approval – or anybody else’s for that matter. She needs her OWN approval. She needs to set standards for herself. Standards she can live by but aren’t too high. Standards that challenge her but don’t ask her to sacrifice the important things in life – like family and sanity. She needs standards she can believe in so that NO MATTER WHAT, she can look at what she has done and pat her own tiny back if nobody is around to do it for her.

I just wish I could teach this to myself.

First, I should probably back up and explain our sleeping arrangements. You see, our home is a split level home with the master bedroom and bath on the bottom floor and everything else on the top floor – including Pineapple’s room. You enter somewhere near the middle and have a really neat Alice In Wonderland-ish option of going up…or going down. Although our house needs some work – modernization, a few improvements, etc. – I fell in love with it the first time we entered the front door. Of course, this was pre-Pineapple and well, I didn’t fully think through the whole “she’ll be upstairs and we’ll be downstairs” scenario. Let’s just say that the idea of putting my baby in a crib down two hallways and upstairs from where I sleep did not instill in me any feelings of comfort and ease. As a result, we outfitted Pineapple’s room and we also purchased a baby bed for our master bedroom…and…wellllll….this is where she still sleeps.

Before you get all “Rachael is a big weirdo who can’t sleep more than 2 feet away from her kid” just think about this for a moment: it’s cold where we are. And we have ELECTRIC WALL HEATERS. They aren’t particularly safe and fall in the category of ‘one of those things we need to fix.’ And I just CAN’T LET HER SLEEP UP THERE WITH THAT HEATER AND BEING SO FAR AWAY! *sigh*

So, there. Now you know the ugly truth.

And now that you understand our sleeping arrangements, you’ll understand the need for a good nightlight and why I valued the mock fire crackling in the corner of the room.

While on my hunt for a new nightlight, I came across several that were scattered through my home with no apparent rhyme or reason. One was a Febreze dual-misty + nighlight do-hickey that had no more misting ampules..so that was out. Another was this really pretty little bronze colored glass overplated with some sort of metallic frame that looked like lattice work – but it was too dim. I found a turtle that was given to Pineapple by her ADQ before she was born. He’s super neat and projects a real starry night sky on the ceiling – in three different colors no-less – and comes with a chart of the stars. But he’s kinda bright and kinda distracting and Pineapple kinda likes to shout and point at the stars more than she likes to sleep. So, monsieur tortue (that’s French for “Mr. Turtle” – because he’s fancy) is only allowed out to play during awake times. In my desperation for light during our brief stint without any illumination, I used a flashlight, a reading light and my phone alternately to check on Pineapple or navigate the room. I also scooched a smidge closer to DH during the night – his warmth and presence are a nightlight of their own, in many ways. But I finally found a good nightlight; one that was given to me by my stepmom for Christmas. It’s a fleur de lis – in honor of my original home state of Louisiana – and it has a wee sensor that determines if the night is in need of a little light.

But all this hunting for a nightlight made me wonder why we need them in the first place. I know why I need a nightlight: I’m scared of the dark. And I know why most people want one: so they can feel comforted when their sleep is interrupted or they’re feeling a little vulnerable. So that made me think…am I Pineapple’s nightlight? Does she look to me in the night for help and security and comfort? Yeah. She kinda does.

I’m a nightlight. Who’da thunk it?

On a totally seperate note, check out my “I Like to Read (A Lot)” post about the Twilight mock-fanfic book called “Nightlight.” And enjoy!

February was an interesting month for Pineapple. I was travelling quite a bit – to both the Blissdom Conference and the Mom 2.0 Summit - and then we had a memorable trip to the beach. She wasn’t sick too much resulting in an over-all pretty active time for her  (though she did develop ear infections and a bit of a cold in the last week or so – *sigh*). She also exchanged Valentines – hers were a tiny package with strawberry applesauce, 3 strawberry marshmallows, and a little card with kitties and puppies. She got to spend some time with her Aunt Tay Tay, Uncle PP, and her Lulu – all of whom have odd names, clearly, but love her too, too much! She’s walking well – talking up a storm! – and has even turned into a little mimic (last night she was crossing her arms like mommy). All of these new advances have also led to some pretty serious preferences….and fits…but with some help from my mom friends on the interwebs, Parenting, and several conversations at those blogging conferences, we’re learning to manage it. I hope everyone else had a lovely month o’ love….as you can see, everything was coming up roses for my Pineapple!

On a seperate note – I’d love to hear what others did for their child’s Valentine exchange. Pineapple received one that was a small box of raisins with a heart sticker – I thought that was brilliant! Please share!!!

I do.

Ever feel like you’re stuck on that big hamster wheel of life and I’m running your little paws off….but not getting anywhere?

Let’s say, for instance, that your mom knows that you’re running with all your might on that wheel and she’s praising your pants off. But for some reason, your best friend just missed it all. And just like that…all that effort…just seems like it was wasted. (Hey mom and bestie – this is a METAPHOR – you didn’t miss anything! Promise! ;) )

Well, sometimes life just decides you’ve been feeling too good about all your running and takes you down a peg…or 20. But you’ve got to go about your day anyway – be productive – and do the things that the day requires of you. Meet the needs of those around you. Play a game with your kid with a smile plastered on your face…despite the fact that you’re feeling disillusioned, disgruntled, and demotivated. So, I thought I’d share my sure-fire ways to make that downswinging day move in the right direction – hopefully they’ll help someone out there!

• Tweet at a friend. The internet can be a lifesaver – literally – so reach out. Ask for help. Let your Twitter pals know that “Hey! My day is kinda sucky and I could use a pep talk!” They’ll come through for you – I promise.
• Call someone whom you KNOW will actually answer the phone. We all know folks who can’t or don’t answer the phone each time you call but calling someone you’re certain will pick-up means a lot. And if they pick up, they’re probably willing to listen to you cry, rant or just complain – at least for a little while. Just be sure you return the favor sometime!
• Take a hot bath. Hot baths are underrated. I bet if Khan had access to more hot baths, he would have had a much more peaceful life. (And for all my geeky friends – you know who you are – I mean Ghengis Khan…not Khan from The Wrath of Khan. ) And if you can take a good glass of wine in the bath with you, then even better!
• Get away for a little while. It is difficult to take time for yourself – particularly when you are a full-time employee, a mommy, and wife – but it is important to take that time. You need it and you deserve it. Head to the bookstore (my fave) or the salon. Whatever makes you feel good; do it. My friend always says that when she’s sick, she gets up and does her makeup and gets dressed anyway – pampering yourself a little can work wonders.
• Spend time hugging your kid. Hugging my kid is like getting a boost from the Energizer bunny. Particularly when she hugs me back. Those wee arms around my neck?…BLISS.
• Do something productive that you really enjoy…like writing a blog post! See?! This one helped me – and writing one of your own might help you. Need proof? Just check out some of the bio’s on other blog sites…lots of folks have turned to the internet for support and encouragement. You can, too. Plus, it gives you a nice feeling of accomplishment!
• Go for a walk. This one is a bit difficult for me given that I live in PDX and it rains so darned much here. So, when there IS a sunny (or at least rain-free) day, you can bet I’m out in it – enoying the weather. Plus exercise = endorphins which = happiness. And according to Elle Woods, “happy people just don’t kill people” (or something like that).
• Call your significant other. I know, I know – but really, give it a shot. If it’s your husband, he may surprise you by NOT trying to solve your problem and instead, just listening! (I’m not saying it’s a guaranteed response, but miracles DO happen. )

So what do YOU do when you have the ‘blahs’ and you’re feeling UNDERwhelmed by your day-to-day grind? Would love to hear your turn-the-day-around tips!

XOXO Rachael

And though it was great and I could write several more posts about it, I’d rather talk about what happened the day after I returned home…

Monday, I had the opportunity to make a day trip over to the Pacific Ocean with my sister, her husband, my niece, my father, and my Pineapple. DH couldn’t get away from work, so we soldiered on without him.

First, you should know that riding in a car is hard work for a wee Pineapple – so, she slept most of the way:

Once we arrived, we made our way down the coast a bit to check out some whale watching spots (no whales though; dang it) and fed some seagulls – which Pineapple LOVED! She screamed and chased gulls around yelling “BIRDBIRDBIRD”!!!!!!

Then we made our way up the coast to the Pelican Pub & Brewery where we proceeded to make a ridiculous mess at our table. After grabbing our pints (and apple juice in Pineapple’s case), we walked outside to the deck on the sand. Pineapple had not yet been in the sand or played in the ocean, so as we walked out the door and she saw the little crest of a hill, which was much too high for her to see over, she toddled over to test it out. Placing her tiny hands in the sand, she raked her fingers through and turned to look at me with a giant smile on her face. She immediately spun around and clambered up the little hill to the very top – with me following closely behind, of course – and upon reaching the summit, stood and brushed her hands on her tiny jeans. Then….she looked up.

“SQQUUEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!”

Squealing and pointing and smiling and spinning to look at all of us and point and squeal, she turned and RAN down the little hill toward the water.

We chased after her and I caught up with her as she was nearing the water. Her aunt Lulu pulled her shoes and socks off and rolled her tiny jeans up while I removed mine and did the same. Then Pineapple and I held hands and made our way out toward the ocean…with her tapping her tiny feet and digging in her little toes, squealing the whole way. I took us a wee bit too far out, unfortunately, and had to turn around and RUN back out of the water as it rolled in – soaking my pants up to the knees! Pineapple loved it and giggled the whole way.

Once back on firmer ground, aunt Lulu took this picture of Pineapple and I:

Later, we had the opportunity to stay overnight in a beach house. Unfortunately, it was an unplanned event, so none of us had clothes. I bought a pair of men’s sweatpants and happened to have a shirt I bought at the Mom 2.0 Summit to support relief for Haiti. I was able to repurpose it for Pineapple to sleep in:

See?…What you are doing DOES matter! (At least that’s what the shirt says )

The Four Seasons in Houston is absolutely lovely. Everyone here is so nice. And given that yesterday was my birthday and I was here all alone (cue the pity party music) they went out of their way to make me feel as though I’d celebrated the day in style.

Registration was simple and I got to meet @sthrnnfairytale which ROCKED – she’s so nice! and she made me feel right at home. Thanks lady!

The Kirtsy bags are super cute – provided by Land’s End – and had some neat items from Nintendo and Volkswagon, among others, but weren’t overloaded.

The party last night was NEAT! So many people dressed up in cool “Mad Men-esque” attire – my dress was a LEETLE crazy but I think it was appropriate – had a few people say they liked it – but they may have just been being very nice. There was even a guy that had a pseudo cigarette and I saw several impressions of Peter’s wife! Also, just a little sidenote….I met @Dooce.

She was sitting all alone on a couch – no entourage – can you believe it?! – and being all alone myself, I thought…what the hell…and I walked up and said “I really like your haircut – I think it’s super cute” and explained that I wanted that haircut but was told by my stylist that there was no way in cuss I was gonna pull that one off. Anyway, she was super nice and really gracious!

This morning, Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, was one of the presenters at the keynote and her story was so neat. And honest. I had her book with me – though I could have purchased it at the conference – and she was kind enough to sign it for me. I talked to her about my own happiness list and she was very encouraging. She was a great lady and reminded me of my Aunt Marilyn (HI! AUNT MARILYN!)

Last, but not least, I had my picture taken with those famous critters, Alvin and the Chipmunks this morning. The folks from Fox are here with some great movies and information to share and they had photographer Steven (www.stevendavid.com) taking pictures for us. Most importantly, I had my picture taken with Theodore – he’s my FAVE – and I’m POSITIVE that Pineapple is going to FREAK OUT! when she sees the pictures! Can’t wait to show her – but here’s a sneak peak for you:

Tomorrow, I’m planning to stop by the Oscar Meyer video booth to record my “Good Mood Moment” video. For every “Good Mood Moment” recorded, the Oscar Mayer brand is donating a pound of food to Feeding America® to reach the total goal of 2 million pounds of food as part of the Oscar Mayer Good Mood Mission! What a great cause and a great idea! (I can think of about a zillion good mood moments…wonder how many they’ll let me do… )

For today, I’m here for my day job and my friend Evan Lew, Product Manager for Microsoft Office Web Apps (@Office), will be talking in a panel discussion about cloud computing later this afternoon. He’s a great guy and I’m actually looking forward to the session so I can get some good tips for storing my blog drafts and images - yes, I do PR for tech products but I am sooo not technical!

Tonight…it’s dinner at The House of Blues! YAHOO!

Anyway, I’m having fun and learning a lot – will share more tomorrow – and for now – ‘howdy do’ from the Mom 2.0 Summit in Houston!

XOXO Rachael

UPDATE: Bay (@queenmotherblog) wants to see my Mad Men-ish dress…so what Bay wants, Bay gets! Let me know what you think!

I’m not even kidding.

I actually read in one of my many, many, many (many) parenting books that when a toddler totally freaks, they have literally lost their minds…momentarily. In Pineapple’s case, it may be more than ‘momentarily.’

Lately, she has started just absolutely losing it when she’s not getting her way. My child actually threw herself onto the floor – kicking her legs and pounding her fists because I would not let her stand on a barstool. You may have read about how clumsy she is…if not, take it from me, standing on a stool is not an option for her.

She also screamed, and writhed, and headbutted DH when he picked her up from the staircase in order to assist her up the stairs.

And yesterday, she actually waggled her finger at me and said “no, no, no Mama!” when I took her marker from her!

We didn’t think this was supposed to happen until she was at LEAST 2! But it does remind me of a few years ago when my bestie, Karen, was talking to me about her little girl. I think her exact words were: ”It’s hard to believe that something soooo cute can be soooooooooo BAD!”

I mean, honestly ;lkj;ljhhafsgvIlfiwaeguiaherfi8*&^TYUIHIOhjgls…..PUT THAT DOWN! GET OFF THE COUNTER! OMGeeeeeee!

Gotta run!

XOXO Rachael

According to DH, Pineapple is the ’safety police.’ She goes straight for things she shouldn’t be touching, reminding you that you haven’t taken enough security measures. For example, just as he finished vacuuming, Pineapple spotted a missed hair band on the floor. As DH walked over to take it from her, she looked directly at him and popped it into her mouth. He had to pry it out and neither party was pleased by the process.

Apparently she is very resourceful. She was unable to reach the lotion basket on her changing table, so she pulled her activity table over and used it to climb up and dig in the basket. DH informs me that lotion is a b^%ch to clean up.

When Pineapple is quiet, there is naughtiness afoot. DH says he was cleaning up the breakfast dishes while Pineapple played <loudly> in her room. After a few moments, he realized it had gotten pretty quiet in there. So he went to check and found that he’d forgotten to move her changing table bins to the top of the table. There were diapers scattered all over the room and Pineapple was sitting in a pile of wipies which she had removed from the oversized tub.

Finally, a constant battle over the weekend took the form of Pineapple’s repeated attempts to follow the cat under the baby gate. Clearly, she wouldn’t fit. But DH tells me that it wasn’t for lack of trying. She also got sort of stuck at one point..and she knows how to say ’stuck’…only it doesn’t sound like ’stuck’….you get the drift. She did not appreciate being regularly removed from the floor under the baby gate – nor did she appreciate that darned cat who kept running away!

He also managed to successfully deal with pink eye! Pineapple awoke Saturday morning with two bloodshot, oozy eyes. DH cleaned them and when he realized they needed to be cleaned again only an hour later, he called the doctor. Medication was prescribed and he collected it from the pharmacy and became the ‘eye drop champ.’ (She still won’t let me do it but doesn’t even squirm when he puts the drops in her eyes.)

They also had some lovely moments. They enjoyed Sesame Street in the wee hours of the morning, they played lots of games (including chase the dog – which is not a mom-approved activity) and read lots of books. All in all, I think he did a very good job while I was gone…which makes me feel much better about the fact that I’m heading out for Mom 2.0 next week!

Please share your ‘Daddy is in Charge’ stories – I’d love to hear them – and let me know if you’re going to Mom 2.0! I’d love to grab coffee…or a cocktail…or both!

XOXO Rachael

I was going to write 4 more posts about Blissdom. Yep – 4. But instead, I’ve decided to write one really long one. So hang on to your girdle Myrtle…it’s gonna be a long ride!

I awoke in the early morning following my last evening at Blissdom and packed my things in the dim hotel light – mostly because my exhausted eyes couldn’t handle the bright overheads. I raced down the LOOOOONG hallway and over the sky bridge, dragging my full-to-bursting suitcase behind me to find two of my new friends waiting at the shuttle, concerned that I might not make it in time.

We rode to the airport, shairng our excitement over the experience and some new opportunities we now had as a result of our conversations with other amazing bloggers at the conference.

We hugged at our gates, knowing this was just goodbye for now because we would all be chatting later, online. These friends will never be far away – they’re always as close as a computer screen.

Later, as I flew over Colorado, I looked out the window and through a break in the cloud I saw these long, frozen, wiggly rivers and realized they were all carrying me away from Blissdom…but back to my own personal Bliss in the form of my family – sweet Pineapple and loving DH.

I learned a lot at Blissdom. A lot of things that will help me be a better blogger (hopefully) and a lot of things about some new friends – and even myself. So what did I learn? Pull up a monitor and I’ll tell you:

• Pretty cream and blue tote bags full of treats and information from sponsors that care enough about this community (and recognize their power of influence) to make this conference happen totally rule. Hanes, Hunts, Mam, COVERGIRL, ConAgra, Hershey’s, Arnold, Mabel’s Labels, Blue Bunny and so many others brought this conference to light. Some of the products and companies I already knew about – others were new to me – but ALL were appreciated.
• Dinner – both cheaper Irish food and posh American cuizine – with friends (@unxperiencedmom, @adventuremomj, @queenmotherblog, and @ehood in particular) – is a wonderful way to spend your time. I rarely get the chance and I highly recommend it!
• Trying to find a place to eat and having a walking adventure as a result (because, have I MENTIONED how huge Opryland is?!) is a fun, impromptu form of exercise – much better than Tae Bo (that Billy Blanks is just ASKING for it, I tell ya.)
• Sometimes a new friend can be right next to you and you miss the chance to meet. @SugarJones and I spent the entire trip attempting to connect…and we constantly missed each other, only to have my friends tell me later that at least twice, we were standing right next to each other, just talking to other people! (Next time, girl!)
• Blue feather boas that shed and yucky blue martinis get worn and drunk anyway…with pride.
• Even thought New Moon was available in my room – a fact some of you may realize was a constant temptation for me – I didn’t stick around to watch it because I was too busy meeting, laughing, and bonding with my new pals (I know @melisstress, I can hardly believe it either!).
• Finding Bandaids for sale in the gift shop for our abused toes and heels at a conference that was being referenced to as “#Blisterdom” is a wonderful thing.
• Realizing I could just wear my comfy shoes and nobody cared anyway, is priceless!
• I would never have guessed that I would forego sleep to stand in the hallway talking way past bedtime because there was just SO MUCH to say!
• I learned I’m not only sympathetic but empathetic. I regularly wept while hugging weeping moms who were missing their wee ones just as much as I was missing my Pineapple. Everyone understood completely.
• Being in the same room with someone like Kevin Carroll (@kckatalyst) is an absolute privelage and inspiration. I’m not sure I’ll ever look at work the same way.
• Stellan.
• I discovered that work should be play and play can be work but they should both be FUN! (Thanks again, @katalyst!)
• I realized that I may actually be a humor blogger as well as a mommy blogger (apparently, I can be funny).
• A group of women sharing a meal and a drink will shamelessly share anything and everything – including stories about peeing standing up (you GoGirl!)
• Bloggers dream big and loud and our goals are attainable. And we will carry each other along in the wake of our successes; because that’s what friends do.

But I think the biggest lesson I learned was this (courtesy once again of @katalyst - have I made it clear yet how amazing that guy is?!):

“The moment one fully commits oneself, providence commits as well.”

Be on the lookout for big things.

XOXO Rachael